Archive for October, 2011|Monthly archive page

Heart of a panther

In culture on October 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm

It’s been so long I had no idea how to begin. It has been months. Tumultuous is, for the most part, a complete understatement. I’ve hit the pits, been elevated and reached a plateau. Much prefer the latter, to be honest. At least that way, there’s a routine which brings piece of mind. Stability. And through it all – the highs, the painful and the lows – I’ve learned to be extremely grateful. Especially when being hit with riots, a financial black hole that is the UK and continuous threats of a ‘double-dip’ recession. Factors that flash back to memories of 2008 when I just about thought London was one of the worst cities in the world.

I have a good job. I work with great people. I’m in fashion. And I’ve almost taken it all for granted. I’ve had to slap myself silly. Because London is not the type of place you want as an enemy. I think I’ll be okay. But I have felt lost. You know, thoughts of wanting more which leads to feelings of emptiness. With that I learned to write down goals (not something I haven’t done many-a-times before) which filled a void. But I also had to answer some serious questions. Karrine Steffans, author of ‘Confessions of a video vixen’ said she doesn’t believe in dreams. She sets goal. That statement couldn’t be more accurate. I don’t believe in goals either. Whenever I wanted something, I always found a way to make it happen. I wanted to live in London, and I wanted to write about fashion. Well done. Pat on the back. More than a lot of people in this bloody country can say for themselves despite thousands of pounds invested in education, internships and ass-kissing. Have I done it all in stride and style? Sometimes. But I’m still hear. And the more I just do me, the more that doors open, even if only a crack.

So, I guess this means I’m back.