I couldn’t take my eyes off Sarah Nicole Prickett’s gun. Not that one, the emblazoned Guardian Angel Clutch by Vlieger & Vandam. On her, it’s cute. She’s blonde, kind of. If I rocked it though, I’d look a straight-up dick squeezer. I’m talking hold, grab and squeeze. Rip. Off. Not a good look. But for some reason, I’m intrigued by the knife version, despite it being way more sinister. Coincidentally, while flipping through The Source’s god-awful fashion pages, I noticed an axe in the layout. It was a gift guide. Yes. I’m quite sure a boyfriend would love to know I’d given him full rights to come at me like Jack Torrance (a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining) for whatever reason he deemed suitable. If there was any reason at all. Then there’s those lipstick knives floating around classified as “a great stealthy self defense item for women.” Yeah nigga! Haven’t you heard? It’s the year of the blade? Knife-pleat skirts, ‘pocket knife’ sneakers. Violence and fashion. A re-lived trend. But not just any fashion trend, mind you.
Fashion’s always been topsy-turvy. Hypersexual one minute, ultra-feminine the next. Religiously fanatic (Jean-Paul Gauthier, Givenchy), then supremely secular (Imitation of Christ). I could never quite digest its schizophrenic nature. But this violent reference – disguised as self-defense – is a blatant oxymoron in such a fluff filled industry. Do I think it’s tacky? Not really. But I mean, if I get the clutch, which I most likely will, I just know the responses it’ll remit being worn by me: a 6Foot tall black woman known for sporting a straight face and semi-masculine stance. It’s not that I’m thinking too much about it. I know it’s just fashion. But this is, at least on me, a serious fashion statement. Imagine I pulled out my self-defense lipstick knife from my knife-print bag. I mean, holy shit! Fashion just got way too serious!