Safra

My Fashion Life

In Good Look, Op Ed., Recap, Trend, Vogue on December 30, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Before

When I lived in the UK for the earlier part of 2009, I wandered London’s congested streets wearing colourful sneakers, stonewash jeans and multiple gold cuban link chains. Upon my return to Toronto, I adapted a punk-influenced look consisting of Trilby hats and leather biker jackets – possibly due to my new-found worldliness. But skirts and heels slowly creeped back into my primary list, mainly because I returned to my conform zone. Before I’d left Toronto, I could throughout the city for miles on end wearing the sexiest heels.

When I landed a job, I was the fashion-forward girl in an office of three; influencing my colleagues to jazz it up a bit more frequently. From beginning to  end, I maintained a solid reputation as the young woman who basked in looking good and would surely cultivate a flourishing fashion career. When my contract ended, I still had desire. But then, I got a job as a part-time Sales Associate for a British retail luxury chain.

At first I thought I’d enjoy this experience. I thought this move would help me to dig deeper into my cravings for fashion. But the uniform, my colleagues, and my managers slowly outed my flame. My need to care was replaced with my need for an out. I started to feel stifled by my surroundings; I preferred the solitude of a computer and words rather than having to “try” for another day on the sales floor. Every day was a was like of war, and the more I wished I could camouflage into the four walls. The nonchalant attitude dipped in my ability to smile, to care. Consequently, your appearance can affect your performance, which can lead to loss of a job. They say fake it till you make it, and it’s true. I remember a time when I had broken up with an old boyfriend. I started to dress a bit more for work; not only did my confidence boost, I got over him quite quickly.

The last time I struggled with a job under the similar circumstances with the store was while living in England. It was for a British company, and I had to wear a uniform. However, I don’t think it was the uniform anymore than it was the people I reported to. A toxic attitude can contain a multitude of things; whether it’s your surroundings, confidence and level happiness at that time.

During

My clairvoyance taped into my conscience; I dreamt about the end of my part-time retail job, something that tends to happen when I know the door will close, and weeks before, my ambitions started to shift to the things I wanted to do. There was no point in trying to salvage it, I knew it was over, it was just a matter of when. But I consider that loss to be a blessing. Because terminating a burdensome working relationship is ending a bad romance. The minute it was over, I regained my confidence. I started to feel my heart mould into a smile, and the part of me that drifted away started to come back.

NOW!

 

For months, I only had this blog as an outlet; it turned that fashion maven loose. Her and I split into two parts; she illuminated, gorgeous and captivating on the blog, while I hid behind her, quiet and patient. But now the year is over, we’ll become one in the same again. The new years is positive; I’ve laid out the groundwork, and I’ve got to enter it with a BANG!

 

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